August
12
14:34
Relationship // He and she

Love and emotional dependence: how to get rid of the latter?


Love - is a complex set of feelings, which certainly includes a strong attachment on an emotional level.We can say that without the emotional attachment of love is not seen.Sometimes, however, dependent on the partner grows beyond the norm.The pathological state characterized by its devastating effects on a person.If love - is a bright, inspiring tunes a feeling akin to the emotional dependency addiction.She brings a lot of problems in exchange for dubious pleasure.

poeticize problem

centuries writers and poets sang of love.Recall Romeo and Juliet: unable to live without each other they go on suicide.Then they flooded the cinema the images of men and women who have died in one day from the great love.This blurs the line between normality and pathology, and even more so acquired pathology more and more romantic shapes.You must agree suicide (in the case of Shakespeare's characters) - to put it mildly, an unhealthy thing to do.

That poetry, literature, cinema and the theater indirectly to blame for

the fact that now there are few who can separate the emotional dependence on true love.This is especially difficult when a man is in the midst of raging passions.So people often live in poor relations, believing that it is quite normal when senses give suffering and separation raises the level of suffering incompatible with life.

Signs of emotional dependence

1. psychological comfort only if there is a love relationship with the other person, which then reciprocate, and most of his time is near.

2. Do you share the belief that love is "false" if not full "dissolution" of each other.

3. Life is put in direct dependence on the presence or absence of a relationship with a specific person.

4. Relationship acquire an unhealthy shade: accompanied by intense jealousy, uncontrolled aggression, frequent conflicts, the constant threat of rupture.

6. The severance of relations, as well as the thought of it, causes severe emotional pain, fear drives the depression, despair, apathy.

7. You do not governs the relationship: ie,He feels his complete inability to become the initiator of the gap depends entirely on the will of the partner.

relationship, complicated by the emotional dependence, always very painful and conflict, often with a predominance of destructive emotions: fear, resentment, jealousy, etc.For good reason it says that if someone is able to become a source of happiness, the happiness of his will deprive.Often in such a relationship may be a sacrifice and psychological masochism.For what offense?This is a reaction to the feeling of loss, you give (tenderness, note the time), but it does not meet the response of the victims, or at least a sense of gratitude on the part of the partner.

Why there is addiction?

Some people are predisposed to emotional dependency than others.What is the reason?

tendency to emotional dependence in humans is formed very early - at the age of 1-1.5 years.During this period the child lays the basic idea of ​​how it should proceed further interaction with the world and people around him.The world in the face of parents, meets the needs of a growing human rights not only in food and bodily comfort, but also in communication, love, emotional support, etc.If a child is something in this period of life is lacking, it is still "hungry" for a lifetime.Sometimes even in a very happy and loving family a child is faced with the fact that not all his needs are met immediately, and exactly the way he wanted to.

Such a person will constantly look for a partner who will be able to compensate for the shortfall in his childhood by their mothers and fathers: the unconditional love and acceptance, guessing their needs without sound, the execution of any desires and whims, etc.Of course, this is impossible.And the inability to just generates anger and despair, which are able to turn this love into a real nightmare.

How to recover from emotional dependence

To get rid of emotional dependence can try to rewrite his life completely.And literally.Psychologists recommend in writing to answer the following questions:

- Why do I let the partner so treat yourself?

- how to build a child my relationship with my parents?

- Always I can do what I want, and if not, what bothers me?

- I'm afraid if I break existing relationships and why?

- Why am I afraid of solitude or freedom from existing relationships?

This written response will help to understand yourself.It is important to meet the utmost sincerity.The next step shall describe each question, how would you personally like to build their lives.In the first case you honestly write it as it is, now write as you want, and quite frankly, too.

In conclusion, it must be said that the best prevention is to get rid of emotional dependence on myth, no matter how attractive they are.The relationship should not be self-deception: Look for a partner adequately.How does he live?What are his views, plans, beliefs?Disappointment comprehend exactly when the illusion of reality is broken.Most say it is difficult not to forget the human, and the dream, which he gave.Therefore, you love the person and not their ideal fantasy.

Especially for LadySpecial - Olga Farusy

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