Relationship // He and she

Your man does not want to have children: how to be?

You have long been living with a man, you have to he is serious and would like to in the near future to have children, not necessarily in the immediate, but in principle we would like.But for some reason when you plant a conversation with him on the subject, he strongly denies the idea of ​​becoming a father, leading a bunch of arguments against it.Maybe your favorite new hip for support - childfree .Chayldfristy in favor of conscientious objection on the desire to have children.Let's see what reasons may underlie this belief.

fear of responsibility

At the heart of the reluctance always hides some fear.Of course, no man will never tell you that he is afraid to be a father.Afraid because it changes in life, the appearance of the duties and restrictions on the free time.

He's just afraid that can not cope with all this, and the way back will be gone.Men often referred to as the cause of the unwillingness to have a child - it's financial difficulties, which, in his opinion, is the clincher in

his reluctance.But this can change his mind, saying that you can just competently plan the family budget, and to the same basic problems fall on the first two years, and then the child grows up and does not require so much attention as in the early years.Tell him that you're also afraid of pregnancy, childbirth, that can not cope with bringing up baby, because he sees that it is not alone in his fears.In addition, the bulk of the concerns about the kid will fall on your shoulders, and his task is to help you and support.

fear of the unknown

You're thinking about the child draw pictures in my head of a happy family life, and your man on the contrary imagines terrible pictures of sleepless nights, constant crying and perpetual care of the child.Men are afraid of the unknown, because, in their opinion, it threatens them with the upcoming danger.Yes, at the birth of a child it does not always happen smoothly, but the happy moments far offset the bad.Children give us moments of joy, when they begin their first steps, first words, or say happily running towards us.Tell your man that once your child call his dad, he would teach his son a male cases, and the girl is his beauty, and indeed if the children gave us sleepless nights only, it would be chayldfristov for millions around the world.

loss of freedom

How men love freedom and consider it, almost the most important part of life, and here you really cheer her away from him.What do you think a temporary inconvenience for a man is a whole disaster.He thinks that will not be able at any time to meet friends, can not freely dispose of the finances, but in reality it will.You should explain that at birth the child will have to limit yourself some time, but then added that this time limit, and it really is not going to restrict anybody.You can simply advance to discuss his duties so that to the extent possible, he always tried to help you.Also tell me what is possible now so he set, and with the advent of the child he wants to spend time with him and lisp.But if he has such conversations only cause discontent to something, and if he loves someone in this life except yourself?

paternal instinct

We all know that there is the instinct of the mother, and is there a paternal instinct?For example, when a woman walks past playgrounds and sees a cute baby, her heart is compressed and you want to immediately embrace him.The man does not experience similar emotions and just dryly expresses his emotions saying, "baby crying", "children play", without experiencing any emotion in the soul.Women by nature inherent desire to be a mother and to protect her child, and a man is a little different instincts, so he does not feel so strong desire to continue the race.What to do?Nothing, it's absolutely normal man can not feel any sense before birth, is that even looking at her tiny child he was not overwhelmed with love for him.All men are different, someone immediately touched by your child, and someone had time to fall in love with him and realize that he is the father.To prepare a man to have a child, try sometimes to adjust his communication with young children, or even ask someone from mutual friends to make his godfather, because maybe he was holding the hands of someone else's child caught myself thinking that wants to care for herbaby.

When a man utters the words "I'm not ready to have a child," then try to find out what exactly is not ready.More often than not he is willing to change, but maybe he just is not sure about you in the future mother.In this case, the only time your love and patience will help you cope with this problem.Do not forget that every man, no matter how strong did not seem to mind the little boy who is afraid of many things, and waiting your support.But if, despite all your arguments and tricks, your man is adamant on this issue and does not want to have children, think, and whether you need any kind of man?

Especially for LadySpecial - Natella

February 6, 2014 12:02
left her husband only because he does not want to have children ?!What kind of savagery?) Do you have that, the meaning of life in procreation, like animals, huh?In general, such questions are resolved before marriage.
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