People who have never experienced the death of his beloved wife, could not understand what unspeakable pain brings this sad event.Only after a while people begin to get used to the new reality in which there is no longer his lover.Sometimes it takes a very long time ...
large number of men after their spouse dies, married for the second time.Unfortunately, severe grief and pain of loss of firmness can not all survive.Therefore, in the new family are often introduced negative and unnecessary comparisons with the deceased spouse.
Since marrying a widower and create with them a new and totally happy family?As it does not lose its face among the endless comparisons with the former wife of his beloved?Marriage to a widower can conceal many serious psychological traps.
women without drawbacks
Human memory is such that losing a loved one, forget all the negativity that has been in past relationships.There remain only the good and the good memories.Often wid
Very often widowers commit such a mistake: looking for a woman who would be the most reminded him of his beloved dead wife.Moreover, they, for some reason, one hopes that the woman will not only facial features similar to his wife, but also will have all those wonderful qualities possessed by it.
will be incredibly difficult to constantly strive to meet the expectations of his beloved.This is only possible for those women who have a really strong character and incredible patience.They will eventually replace the old feelings and thoughts of a loved one, it is wise to build their family under the new rules.
How to survive?
Every woman is going to marry a widower, has to understand that with the beloved person in her life includes a tough test in the form of his past.And only love, and patience can lead to harmony in family relations.But tantrums, constant criticisms and failures - only to the inevitable rupture.If you understand and respect the feelings of her husband, you can help him relieve the pain of the loss which he suffered, to shift attention and all the forces to build a new family and new relationships.
few tips to help make the inevitable adjustment period of two such different fates less painful:
- Things deceased wife.They are best placed away.Just do not throw, setting up a kind of burning personal belongings and photos (that may very hurt not yet departed from the burning soul of his beloved), and neatly folding into boxes and hiding them in the closet or in the attic.Even if your favorite asks a question about where the things happened to his wife, you will not be ashamed to answer him.
- reminder of the loss.Avoid words or actions do not resemble his beloved mountain.If this is not possible, be prepared that you have to learn not to react to unpleasant comments and comparisons.
- pleasant moments.Develop a plan for a long period of time, which will give you and your loved one get bored.Replace it with previous experience in the pleasant moments together: holidays, trips, vacation, travel, and more.As time passes and the pain will subside.And you and your husband will be able to celebrate the brilliant victory over despondency.
- memory of his wife.Constantly Instil her man at every opportunity that his untimely deceased wife will never be forgotten and that memories of it will only be the lightest.But gently remind him that the past can not be returned and we need to continue to live here in this moment.
- disrespect to the past.You do not need to take any action with respect to his family of his former disrespectful.For example, if he often goes to the cemetery to visit the grave of his wife, it is not necessary to fix the obstacles.Remember that nothing heals better than time.And soon his daily life with a new family accustom it to life a little different routine.
- Unnecessary conclusions.Never put your favorite "diagnosis", do not take any of his actions and words as a mental illness.After all, everyone is experiencing the pain of losing his own way.And every time you want to start living in new ways.
important to remember one thing: fully support their favorite man.As time passes, the pain of his loss will subside, and it will return to normal.And in this new life for him he will wait patient and restrained his wife, who was able to make a huge amount of really unpleasant and difficult moments.But then it is waiting for a happy life with a wonderful husband.